


Among the Leaves

by Etnoe



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, Naruto
Genre: Community: ithurtsmybrain, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-30
Updated: 2010-09-30
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etnoe/pseuds/Etnoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A wandering tree finds the Hidden Village of the Leaves.</p><p>Or, three takes on a relationship between Kakashi and Treebeard: The Pairing List That Ate Fandom made me do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Among the Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> The Pairing List That Ate Fandom, also known as [It Hurts My Brain](http://ithurtsmybrain.livejournal.com/), was a fanwork challenge where character names from various fandoms basically got thrown into a hat and pairings/moresomes were drawn out. During one of the rounds I saw Treebeard (LOTR)/Kakashi Hatake (Naruto) and could not resist writing this.
> 
> For the life of me, I can't figure out if it's platonic or romantic. But the scariest thing is probably that it's vaguely serious!
> 
> * * *

Take one:

Their love is so five hours late to kick your ass!

 

 

Take two:

"Bararum"

Kakashi regards Treebeard mildly, and then his visible eye crinkles in the way that means he's decided that you may know he's pleased. "I'm glad you're back. Did you find any trace of the Entwives?"

Treebeard is as glad to be back as Kakashi is to welcome him, but only gives a minute-long "no" as he looks around. It takes much patience to come home, month after month, and find Kakashi in his underwear in front of the television. He would need to deliberate on whether Kakashi actually made a point of being in precisely the same pose each time.

"Perhaps they are still a-plaiting the grass of the meadows," Kakashi says blithely. Treebeard softly croons the beginning of a yearlong insult as if it is only a song - that is his own private joke, but it is not so funny as he inspects the apartment, with food, clothing and used dishes scattered on any surface where they could rest, or precariously cling and wobble for a long-enough amount of time.

In truth, it is curious that Kakashi is so filthy. He is healthy in body and behaves like an elf when outside, a flitting form that is hardly there, but in his home he is thoroughly solid, carved of sloth and a determination not to care.

When drawn out of Fangorn at last to seek the Entwives, Treebeard had not expected to make a home of such a place as this. Then again, he had never thought that to root too close to the edge of cliffs would cause them to crumble. With that mistake, his curiosity to watch the ocean awhile had landed him in it. What a hasty lesson that had been: a rumble bumble turn of waves; a rub scrub roar that bared him of leaves and pared him to the last of his life. He would be forever grateful to that young palm that had drawn him to the land.

Much wandering after that had led here, with a man surrounded by ten near-empty bowls and eating from another with two slender twigs. "Hrroom, rom, mercilessly teasing and dirty, and eating with my body too."

"You left enough pieces behind." Kakashi twirls the twigs and shrugs with one shoulder, so light-hearted as to near insolent. He is enjoying performing (because he does not argue). "If you're going to be messy, I might as well make use if it."

Did he truly dare? Treebeard put effort into letting his deliberations on Kakashi's nature maintain a decent, slow pace. "What is a twig or two, here and there, with a small snap and a tiny creak? If I were not all worn and twisted awry by the tumbling turning waves that brought me here, harrroom, I would not even fit in your earthless pit of a home at all," he snaps.

"It's not that earthless anymore," Kakashi says. "Ah, speaking of which, I have to mention ... about those new plants of yours..."

Leaves in the darkest shade of green occupy one corner of Kakashi's living room. They move as he speaks of them, twitching their leaves. Their area is a curve delineated by short, curling vines.

"You know I tend to spread a bit when I get a chance to," Kakashi says, his voice ambling along. Treebeard succumbs ever so slightly to the charm of the sound and rhythm; he loves to listen to Kakashi talk, and talk, and talk, and... "It's a mystery how it happens, but my possessions walk about on their own, almost, especially when you are not here. It's just that when they end up near your miniature forest... _Snap_." He twitches the twigs together in a movement reminiscent of a bite. "They vanish."

With another look at the plants, Treebeard realises that the space where the vines curl is the only place in the room where the floor is visible.

Here is an example to show why it truly does not do to be hasty. Should he have laid his displeasure bare, it would have lingered, and soon one of them would have to go questing again, and often their journeys are long. Treebeard goes to stand in the square of sunlight by the window as he awakens to his answer. "They are like your summoning of dogs," he says. "I have made a pact with them, and they will help to protect you. Your possessions might disappear, here and there, but it is so that we might both have better rest, whether I am here or not."

Kakashi and the rest of Konoha's inhabitants have learned that Treebeard's plants can be strangely helpful. He does not even consider in the slightest before he nods and crinkles a smile at Treebeard again.

Treebeard settles where he stands with his branches outstretched, pleased. He will keep seeking the Entwives because it is a deep call within him that draws his sap to run - but he will stay here because he wants to, in spite of the fact that his companion is as mercilessly disgusting in his habits as the Bararum. It seems that the plants will assist in this, because they are noble and kind; it is a very fortunate thing indeed, because he will be damned if he is stuck with all the housekeeping.

 

 

Take three:

Come Come Paradise

The rustling of leaves has faded to the most absent background sound Kakashi can manage to let it.

It's hard for a ninja to be at peace; birds, squirrels, snakes, and a thousands-strong host of mosquitoes (ambitious in the humid forest shade) aren't making it any easier. There is one damn woodpecker that keeps pecking out false alarms.

However, he has his book in hand and is in good company; Treebeard appreciates the sunshine as much as he does, and his students are making do with relatively little attention. He taps his heel against a crack in the bark, and the leaves shudder as Treebeard shifts to let more sunshine fall on Kakashi.

The first time they met, it had seemed to be a perfectly innocuous tree until it moved to face him. That had been one of the times when Kakashi had been genuinely astonished ... after all, Naruto and Sakura had been shocked to _silence_ for whole minutes when the tree sighed and rumbled at them.

Everyone in the village is used to Treebeard now. The local birds even settle on him for short times, but Kakashi knows Treebeard likes it. He personally finds it a little 'Snow White', and the birds keep tripping off the ninja-alertness, but with a companion like Treebeard...

...someone who knows the deep soil and the blood it is soaked with. He knows trees pocked with kunai-notches and dark with the magic that spills from fallen ninjas, and he feels the forms of buried secrets. Beasts rustle the leaves in alarm and the message trembles throughout the forest, and because Treebeard can read such a message and always knows where danger comes from...

...Kakashi can relax, knowing he will have a timely warning.

He berates himself when he realises far too belatedly that Naruto, hanging off a branch, is giving him a glare bursting with suspicion. The students aren't used to seeing him so laid-back. It was a bad lesson for them, too.

"That is damn weird!" Naruto accuses at random, not sure what's strange about the scene. "I wouldn't let _my_ friends read porn on me!"

By inference from his actions, he'd be fine with letting his friends dangle from his limbs, kicking their heels. Kakashi ignores this and smiles. "Ah, don't worry, Naruto; Treebeard is calm about everything." He gives a heartfelt sigh. "I think _I_ should have been a tree shepherd. Doesn't it sound like the perfect job?"

"For you?" Sakura mutters from the other side of Treebeard. "Yes, definitely."

As simply as that, the moment has passed. Automatically and immediately, Kakashi is aware of everything from that panicky woodpecker to Sasuke seated against the foot of the tree; he is perfectly ninja.

If Treebeard keeps the sun's warmth falling on him in those warm leafy patches, he might lose it again soon.


End file.
